In my nearly 16 years on the Hillsborough Board of Education, I sat at the dais on Monday nights with thirty-four different board members. As the years passed and the turnover continued, I had the opportunity to observe - and squirm. I served with some terrific board members, including a few with whom I got along well and some that I remain friends with to this day. And then there were the others.
Before I talk about "The Six Board Members You Meet In Hell" you must know that these observations have little or nothing to do with whether or not the individual was effective as a board member - or if they are a good person in general. I am confident that a "Greg Gillette" type would make someone else's list. Nevertheless, plenty of board members exhibited traits during their tenure that were just infuriating (to me). So, let's begin. [Note: this is all about behavior at public board meetings]
The Know-It-All
A board member that does his or her homework, is familiar with the schools and the issues, and offers thoughtful solutions is always appreciated. That is not this person. The school board Know-It-All uses their outside professional status as a cudgel to demand acquiescence to their point of view. They dabble in that age-old logical fallacy of Appeal to Authority. This wears thin in a hurry - especially when spiced with an air of contempt. Board members come from all walks of life and all education levels. Pro tip - if you have a bunch of letters after your name, leave them home on Monday night.
The Windbag
At least the Know-It-All knows something. The Windbag likes to hear himself speak. That wouldn't be so bad if he had or point, or, at a minimum, had looked at the agenda and read the notes. This person presumably wanted to be on the board, we just don't know why. Pro tip - if you are going to first open your packet (in the days when we had paper packets) at the dais, then don't say anything else the rest of the evening.
The Persistent Pugilist
It's great when a board member has a little fight in them - I certainly did. But when the ref counts you out - you're done. In the context of a school board meeting, the usual etiquette is that a board member can speak - and be rebuked by other members - three times on any subject and then they need to throw in the towel. That has always seemed abundantly fair. The Persistent Pugilist has a good opportunity - three of them in fact - to make an argument and win support. Pro tip - know when it's time to hit the showers.
The Last Word Lecturer
Different from the Persistent Pugilist, the Last Word Lecturer has to have the final retort in any exchange. It's no good following on with more thoughts on the subject, you will be contradicted again - and again. I was on the board with a few members who had this affliction, and it drove me batty! Honestly, for some of these board members, it's the only thing I remember about them. Pro tip - we're not married; I am allowed to have the last word once in a while!
The Stone-Stepper
Ah Yes! The lowly school board as launching pad. School boards in New Jersey are supposed to be non-partisan. Board members agree to not let their opinions, votes, etc. be swayed by any political parties. Get real. I have served with board members who had engraved nametags that read "Jane Doe, Hillsborough BoE" that they wore to political gatherings. I also served with board members from both political parties who were elected county committee members of their parties - actually elected by the general public during the NJ primary elections in June! Pro tip - be humble on your way up, you may be back here on your way down.
Ms. Manifesto
Often a repeat offender, when Ms. (or Mr.) Manifesto begins to speak, get ready for ten to twelve minutes of misplaced righteous indignation. When I would spot that single-spaced typewritten sheaf of paper come out I felt like running out of the room. This is not the US Senate. You are not Daniel Webster. Sure, some of the histrionics were fun -- the banging of tiny fists, etc. - but come on! The other eight board members didn't get the assignment. No one is prepared. It's not right! Pro tip - if you need one of those special industrial staplers to get it together, it's too long!
There you have it...but, you know what? Spending a few hours today thinking about this makes me realize that I might need to do a Part 2 someday! Maybe before that, I should do one about the board members who made meetings seem like Heaven! Would it surprise you to know that they could be the same people? People are complicated.
